Saturday, January 10, 2009

A little choked up

I felt very moved tonight and I needed to sit down and put my thoughts onto paper. I was having a very crappy evening due to some personal things going on amongst my family. I was feeling very angry and hurt. I started to bum around the internet and was looking through a blog of a family that was in my ward while I lived in Oregon. There 5 year old little girl has cancer. It is one of the saddest stories. She is the sweetest little girl. Last I had heard she was doing very well and they were going to put her in remission. I had not looked at her blog in a bit so I thought I would check it out. I am not sure the full story of it all, but she is in the middle of a very intense and hard chemo treatment. This little girl is probably the bravest person I have ever met. She is so positive and so upbeat. Her parents are amazing people. I got to know her mother for a brief time while serving in the church with her and wow, what a wonderful woman. They are a strong family. The love that you can just feel from reading their blog is so amazing. I can only imagine what it must be like to have a child sick with something like cancer. Its every parents worst nightmare to see their children suffer, especially from something that you can't fix for them. As Scott and I sat here discussing this family and how unbelievable they are I just had this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness. I am so incredibly greatful for my life. I have been so blessed in so many ways. I have many struggles and have huge pitfalls but I have a wonderful kind husband that sees me through my darkest hours. He is there for me in a way that I never knew was possible. I didn't know you could love another person as much as I love him. He has taught me more in three short years than I thought I could ever learn in my lifetime. He is kind and patient and so forgiving. I struggle with alot and without him I would be utterly lost.

There was a quote posted on their blog..."It is easier to light one candle, than to curse the darkness" What a powerful quote! Its an attitude I wish I could apply more in my own life. I think having a husband that is deployed I have played the cursing the dark card on more than one occassion. How incredibly naieve of me. I am so lucky to have what I have in my life. My husband may be gone for a short while, but atleast I have him. And my wonderful daughter. She brings me more joy with each day than I knew was possible. To see her smile is the most amazing feeling. She truly teaches me what unconditional love is.

I am not sure what I am getting at here, I guess its just one of those days. Its been a long one and a trying one. We are very close to having Scott home and my emotions must be catching up to me. I just want to say how thankful I am for my husband and my daughter and my life. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family. I cannot wait until we are whole again.

1 comment:

Jen Benson said...

We're happy to have you be in our family and hope you know if you ever need anything, we are here for you! Thanks for being a part of the Cotner clan!