As I sit here and begin to write this post I honestly don't know what to say. I think I am still processing all of it and I really don't know which emotion best describes how I feel right now. Some of you know that I have had some medical things going on the last month or so and the doctors were having a very hard time figuring out what is wrong. I had to have a lot of help and have been in some of the worst pain in my life. Not being able to function and take care of my kids each day has been very trying. I finally got an answer to why all of this was happening on Friday. I was diagnosed with Lupus. They do not know yet which strand I carry, or if it is a combination of more than one strand. They do think that I have SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus) but are not sure if that is the only form I have or not. I will be back in the lab on Monday to do the final tests to figure out which forms I have and then it is off to the specialists to figure out a treatment plan. They have started me on a few meds for now until I can get a more specific diagnosis due to the pain I have been in and the other things that it is effecting. Right now the meds are pretty hard on my body and I am experiencing a lot of things I am not used to. To have a doctor tell me that I would have to step down my life a bit and learn to take it more easy was pretty hard for me to hear. I am finally not pregnant or breastfeeding and starting to get back into working out and doing some of the things I love like running and hiking and snowboarding, and then to have someone tell me that those things may not be able to be a part of my life, or at least not in the same way was pretty hard to swallow. Granted I will know more as I see my doctors and get my care team who will be in charge of me, but still hard. I have told Scott about everything and of course he is a bit worried and hates being so far away. I have told both sets of parents and other than that I haven't talked to much of anyone else about it except a few close friends in town. Its a lot to take in and will take time for me to adjust. I know its nothing that is instantly life threatening, and it could have been a lot worse, but it is still a serious condition and I am going to have to get used to some changes in my life and know that there is no cure for this but rather something I will have to learn to treat and deal with in my daily activities. I just wanted to share this with anyone that may not have heard already, and also put a few thoughts of it down on here. It is still sort of a journal of sorts for me.
I am first and always a mom and wife. I have two beautiful kids that are my world. And a husband I couldnt imagine life without. I was diagnosed with Lupus (SLE) on Dec 10th, 2010. Life hasn't been the same since. Now I take each day as it comes and I work my best to enjoy every moment!